17 year old girl accidentally hanged herself while trying to scare customers at a haunted house called CREEPYWORLD near St. louis. She’d only worked there for two days, and police think she climbed in a bathtub, put her head in a prop noose, lost her footing and ended up hanging herself for real. She is in critical condition.

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In Argentina, feshermen caught a THREE EYED FISH in a reservoir near a nuclear power plant. Hello.

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Steve Jobs….his sister revealed his final words upon his death. He looked at his family and said , quote,”oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.” In a good way. And then he lost consciousness. What a story. What did he see…this gives me chills.

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last week in Florida police busted a 42 year old woman for walking around with an open container of colt 45. And when they searched her they found a Bible …that had been hollowed out so she could store her crack pipe inside.

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Eating junk food has been scientifically proven to cause nightmares…On our hips…Am I right girls?

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Steve jobs hated license plates for his car. So what did he do? In california you have six months to get plates for your car after you purchase it. So He would buy a new mercedes every six months to avoid getting the plates for his car. That is eccentric.

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On saturday, in Massachusetts, a 57 year old convicted sex offender went into a Rite-Aid, drunk. He proceeded to go up to a sunglasses display, which featured a life size cardboard cutout of a woman…and started kissing and fondling it…he was arrested.

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How many more families is Monopoly going to destroy/ on wednesday, a 60 year old woman in New Mexico repeatedly stabbed her 48 year old boyfriend because she thought he was cheating in Monopoly. Now she is in jail explaining to her cell mates what happened.

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Jennifer Lopez was GLAMOUR magazines WOMAN of the year!!!!

Yay her

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Sandra Bullock apparently went on a date with keanu Reeves…I have about 100 reasons why that wont work…but ok.

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Marie Osmond was rushed to the hospital for severe bronchitis….shes doing better…..get well marie

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If you switched over to REDBOX because you were upset about the price increase at NETFLIX…get ready…

Redbox just upped their prices from 1 dollar to $1.20…OOOHHHH BURN!

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THINGS YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN:

If you can think back to AMERICAN IDOL SEASON 3

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Do you remember Ace YOUNG…cute guy with semi curly longer brown hair…and DIana Digarmo or whatever her name was….yea..THEYRE NOT ONLY DATING..but living together….WHO KNEW!?

Early sunday, a man in Georgia was FURIOUS when he ordered two TACO bELL’S NEW DOUBLE X CHALUPAS..

and they didn’t  have the amount of meat he was counting on. So he called the restaurant, told them he was going to quote ”redocorate the place”…then he tried to throw a homemade FIRE BOMB through the window. He missed, so there were no injuries and police are looking for this redneck.

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Early yesterday morning, a 24 year old in Colorado met a woman on CRAIGS LIST and invited her to come to his house. But when she got there around 3:00am, they guys girlfriend came home. He panicked and called the cops, pretending the craigs list woman was a BURGLAR. But the cops saw thru the mess and he was arrested.

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Ketchup is the number one condiment. Mustard number two.

Turkey sandwich number one.

two fun facts you’ll never forget

Dexter Haygood went home on X factor…that’s never good…we love to see our Memphis folks shine…you did great, Dexter!

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Jennifer Anniston is NOT pregnant..nor is she engaged….she said..She knows people are speculating that she is having a baby because she has put on a little weight due to her quitting smoking…but the rumors are simply not true.

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Tony Romos wife is pregnant…that’s all I really have about that…

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Steven Tyler fell in the shower overseas while on tour and knocked out a few of his teeth….as you’ll remember, Steven fell off the stage last year and broke his shoulder…poor guy…he’s about as clumsy as I am…get well soon, Steven.

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Lindsey Lohan IS posing for PLAYBOY…she WILL have all of her clothes on…..just FYI.

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On Sunday morning, a 22 year old idiot in pennsylvania was going house to house, ringing doorbells, and exposing himself when people answered. Fortunately for the people in the neighborhood, after a few houses, heinadvertantly went to the house that belonged to the local CHIEF OF POLICE. Not good. He is now in jail with several charges.

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Burge King brings all the love soon.  In Japan, Burger King is running a two week test where they’re offering ALL YOU CAN EAT WHOPPERS. fOR $11 BUCKS YOU CAN EAT AS MANY WHOPPERS AS YOU WANT FOR HALF AN HOUR. Heaven….hell yeah.

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Roasty the Racoon. From Memphis. Yesterday some folks around 1985 Madison thought they could smell something funny in the air. Police come to check it out and find a guy roasting a racoon on an open fire pit. Really? Who doesn’t love a little racoon roasted on an open fire pit like you’re robin hood in the woods. After further investigation…cops found tons of stuff related to meth cooking. Surprise…….on the menu tonight …how about some german shepard.

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here we go: Good Batch today

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1)The Mc Rib is back at McDonALDS….YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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2)WORLDS WORST SMELL-winner Wet Dog beats out stanky socks. I think waiters with sour tshirts should be number one. Best smell-freshly baked bread-bacon and newly washed sheets. also puppy feet and little Elliot after a bath. Baby fresh.

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3)20 percent of women would rather give up sex than facebook

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4) here’s a trick to help keep vandals from messing up your car on Halloween….wax your car today. By Halloween the wax will have settled in and make it easier to wash the eggs and silly string off the car without doing paint damage.

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5) earlier this month, an 80 year old man in maine died. And when his family was going thru his storage unit, they found an unplugged freezer containing/…HUMAN REMAINS. It’s believed to be his ex girlfriend that went missing back in 1983…sweet   ..thanks pop.

Demi Moore was on the set of TWO AND A HALF MEN with her husband, ASHTON KUTCHER…..Sometimes rumors arent true…and sometimes they are…I guess we wont know which one this is for a bit…..

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Netflix lost 800,000 subscribers due to their price increase….that is 210k more than they projected…..they’ve lost 60% of their value…wow.

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DWTS last night was great…Chaz and Hope were the bottom two scorers….my guess is Hope will go home tonight since Chaz has WAY many supporters…..Rickie Lake and JR Martinez were the top scorers for the evening….

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Robin Williams got married over the weekend to his girlfriend….I wonder how strong her abs are from laughing so much…he’s hillar…Congrats, Robin!

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Sir Paul McCartney has released a COOKBOOK…called the MEATLESS MONDAY COOKBOOK….he believes that if we are all vegetarians for just ONE day a week, it will make a huge impact….this is wonderful…..

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Aisha Tyler was offered a full time spot as a co-host on THE TALK. I’m still mad at this show for getting rid of the ONLY funny part, Leah Remini.  Leah has since been offered another gig by ABC…but they’ve been replacing hosts on this TALK show for a while now..noone has stayed put except JULIE CHEN..SHOCKER seeing as she is married to the president of CBS….I DO love Sarah Gilbert and Mrs. O!

Google analyzed their data to figure out which costume ideas have recieved the most searches so far this year, so we can pretty much expect to see these everywhere.

1.) Angry Birds
2.) “Black Swan”
3.) Nicki Minaj
4.) Smurfette
5.) “Wilfred”
6.) Monster High
7.) Captain America
8.) Charlie Sheen